ADFLIUSDFHLASDIFJSDHSJFH <---The Basic Summary of my Thoughts

Hey Everyone! Wow, can you believe that this is my LAST email as a missionary?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I have sooo many mixed emotions right now. I am SO excited to see my family and our new home. I'm excited to apply the MANY things that I have learned these past 18 months for the rest of my life. But I am going to really, really, really, REALLY miss being a Missionary here in San Diego. This has truly been THE happiest 18 months of my whole life. Don't get me wrong though, the reason why it has been the happiest 18 months of my life isn't because everything was hunky dory all the time. There were some "hunky dory" moments, but in all honesty, they were few and far between.

What has made these months the happiest of my life is all of the trials, struggles, and difficulties that I had each and every day. It has been the days where I felt like I had absolutely NOTHING left in me. It was in those days where I was frustrated or hurt and literally fell to my knees begging for mercy. It was in those days where I had doors slammed in my face. It was even in those days where I would get super impatient with all of my weaknesses and faults. EVERY SINGLE DAY these past 18 months have been filled with some sort of trial, adversity, or set back.

As I looked back at that list I realized how I might kind of sound like a crazy person saying I experienced true and undeniable happiness during the most difficult trials of my life. It may sound crazy to you, but to me it wasn't those experiences that brought me happiness, but it was as I applied and relied upon the Atonement of Jesus Christ every single day that brought me that TRUE happiness. When I would wake up feeling like I had absolutely ZERO energy in my body, I would pray and ask my Savior to give me the energy that I needed. And I would receive it. When I would fall down on my knees pleading for mercy-I would receive it. When I would have doors slammed in my face I would ask Heavenly Father for a tender mercy and I would receive it. When ever I felt like all of my faults and weaknesses were hindering the work, I would pray and ask for forgiveness and strength to overcome those faults and weaknesses and I would receive it.

It was the peace, love, and joy that I felt in my heart as I served with EVERYTHING that I had and relied upon the Atonement to make up the difference that allowed me to experience PURE happiness and joy that comes from living & sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ every day. It was as I prayed and relied upon God that I felt His INFINITE love that can only be expressed from a loving Heavenly Father to His literal Daughter. I am SO grateful though that every thing that I have mentioned today doesn't only apply to missionaries. That's the beauty of it. The Gospel of Jesus Christ & His Atonement applies to ONE & ALL. So even after I am released and resume life and school, I can STILL experience the same true joy that I have felt every day of my Mission.

In closing I just wanted to share my testimony again about prayer. I feel like I talk about prayer in every email, but the reason why is because it is SO important! This past Sunday I had my last Mission Presidents Fireside where I & 6 of my closest friends who are all going home with me, performed the song, "Secret Prayer" Hymn # 144. We all sang our hearts out and I even accompanied it with my Ukulele :) I just want to share the lyrics as my closing testimony, because I truly feel like these words are my words & express everything that I am feeling right now.

1. There is an hour of peace and rest,
Unmarred by earthly care;
'Tis when before the Lord I go
And kneel in secret prayer.

2. The straight and narrow way to heav'n,
Where angels bright and fair
Are singing to God's praise, is found
Thru constant secret prayer.

3. When sailing on life's stormy sea,
'Mid billows of despair,
'Tis solace to my soul to know
God hears my secret prayer.

4. When thorns are strewn along my path,
And foes my feet ensnare,
My Savior to my aid will come,
If sought in secret prayer.

I KNOW that our Savior Jesus Christ will truly come to our aid as we ask Him through prayer. I KNOW that He is the Son of God, my Savior and Redeemer, and that He personally knows and loves me. I KNOW that He lovingly restored His Church once again on the Earth today and that I proudly wear the name of that Church on my name tag. I KNOW that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God and that ever since him we have had a Living Prophet on the Earth. I KNOW that Thomas S. Monson is Prophet, Seer, and Revelator today and I love and sustain him. I KNOW that the Atonement of Jesus Christ is real and that only through His Atonement can we be cleansed from sin.

I love you all. THANK YOU for all of your support, love, and encouragement that you have given me as I have embarked on this amazing journey. I truly appreciate everything!

Love always,
xoxo Sister Morgan  :)